It is a cold rainy day here in the East Bay Area. I can't remember a grayer summer. Our house is full of large windows and I see the various inhabitants gazing outside in confusion and tired resignation. We know we are very spoiled when it comes to the weather here in the Bay Area, so it feels ungrateful to complain about a little drizzle... but I do miss summer.
I am tempted to drive downtown and see if they've started on the remodel yet, but Sara and Sam are both home sick and it definitely feels like a day to hunker in. There are only odds and ends to focus on... so many tiny details that need to be dealt with now. A lot of the big stuff is done, which is great... but those are also the things forward in the mind and the smaller things are harder to focus upon.
Over the weekends we had Hirsch and Aldith over for a movie day. Bri set up his lap top so I could design the final opening menu on Vistaprint and I spent a lovely day in my pajamas with the laptop and friends and fabulous movies and pounded it out and got it all ordered. I really love the cover art Mike and Sherry did for us (it's really rather perfect with the nautical theme and all)! Now there are only odds and ends left to do until I have my own licensed kitchen...
Strange things like...
Over the weekend we:
- Ordered the replacement plastic for the sneeze guard from Tap plastics
- Ordered the replacement hopper for the coffee grinder online
- Completed Opening day menu
- Talked Mrs. Stein into fixing the cord for the Bunn brewer
- Order my window decal
- Create my vendor account with Spikes Produce
- Finish the process to get my POS sytem and espresso brewer leased
Stuff I still need for the facility
- forks, spoons, knives
- condiment table
I already have plates, bowls, 16 ounce glasses, wine glasses, tables... I know it will be easier to visualize once we get what we have in there and see where the holes are.
So this week... so strange to be waiting. But there is Dani's party to prepare for this Saturday and the kids school year is about to end.
I think I am most frustrated by a strange lack of vision right now. Why can't I see exactly what it will look like and feel like? I am one of those weird people who really doesn't like surprises. Life can be full of joy and grace, but it can also be capricious and cruel.
I am not sure why, but the new that Sarah Bouchard left Barbacco is somewhat disquieting to me. She was (is) so competent and capable and got burn out and left. I really thought of her as the ideal female Exec Chef. Competent and capable, confident and professional. Supportive to her underlings, calm in the kitchen... none of the stereo-types of the difficult female boss. More than once I saw someone approach her about interpersonal gossip or drama and heard her say, "I am not interested in exploring those topics, let's focus on the task at hand". Beautiful and generous of her knowledge and gifts. She was the one who smirked at me struggling to stuff a hot capicolla into it's casing (I had to literally punch it with my fist mutiple times to get it thru the sausage tying thingie) and when I lamented it's difficulty she said, "Did you come here to be a girl, or did you come here to kick ass?". I often times think of her words when things get tough, or I am walking into a room full of skeptical men and have to prove myself, yet again. I think of her often and I hope where ever she lands she is well.
So today I have a house full of my gorgeous, yet quite ill, children who are getting caught up on Dr Who as the rain makes the work shiny and sleek outside. I wish I could sneak into the City and wander around China Town and smell all the strange things and maybe pick up some herbs and nice teas. It is the perfect day to get lost in a crowd. I think I may have a few weeks at loose ends before things start to get crazy again and maybe next Thursday when I meet Jeremy and Andrew and the Crew in the City for dinner I may go even earlier this time to wander the streets and slowly pilgrimage to Leopold's.
Strange, this life's journey. I have been dreaming of David, my ex and the life we lived of domestic simplicity with the children and then waking to think about how different my life would be if I have stayed married. I would have never attempted to become a chef and open my own business. It wouldn't have fit into our busy lifestyle. The girls are doing a Canterbury Tales Theme for the big Arts and Sciences event in a couple of weeks and it seems very appropriate for my life right now; coming to the age where you realize that as long as you are still breathing there is still more path to travel and "destinations" are only pit stops along the way. Landing the big job, or getting married, or giving birth to your first child... these things only create forks in the road and more choices... and ultimately a more complex and richer journey; they are not an end in themselves.
And so today, I will continue to rest my mind for the hectic time to come, spend time with my beautiful children who are growing up so fast and putter around the house trying to right the chaos that is ever present in our busy household.