Sunday, May 22, 2011

The mind and it's delicacy

While many aspects of my personality are well suited to my current journey... there is one that works against me. My tendency to take a small thing and extrapolate it to the sky is falling (The failed Rapture aside).

There is very little room in my plan for gambling and after the poor financial performance this past weekend I am beating myself up for wasting precious resources. I am not afraid of success, I am terrified of failure. What if I've been wrong about Martinez? What if I open the restaurant and no one comes? What if I can't afford employees? What if I go to T-rex Tuesday and they say the sausages are too expensive and they are not going to carry them? What if we run out of money before the kitchen opens and I can't afford to buy the last few items I need?

One thing I extrapolated out of this weekend is I think it is going to take a while for me to find my customer base. People were just not buying the more fancy food. The words of a friend echo in my brain, "It is a blue collar town, and they want blue collar food". I won't be happy making turkey sandwiches and french fries all day forever. I won't do it. I can't do it.

So for me to succeed I will need the people who tried the food and loved it to spread the word and build a clientele over time. I hope I can afford to do that. The basic items we still need are refrigerators and a freezer and some work tables. Everything else (smoker, we can use the one at school once a week. espresso maker we can lease) can wait.

I feel like the universe isn't pleased with me right now. I feel like the sky is falling. I know on a conscious level that I should be grateful that we got so much good publicity this weekend and that the food was so well received. I am super grateful that we finally got a building permit and will get started on the kitchen soon.

That said, I am scared that we did not do well as far as selling a lot of product last weekend. I am worried that my food might not be an instant hit in Martinez. I am worried that I spent money on a tent and all this non-essential stuff and it didn't pay off and what if that is a general reflection of my business acumen and I am doomed? I am worried because it seems like some of my clients lately are surprised that I would hope to break even (not make any money, just break even) on events. I know they just don't have first hand knowledge of how much stuff costs and they are not doing it on purpose but I hate being the bad guy and it is really hard (and kind of embarrassing) to say, "I can't afford to pay for a big party for you right now." I think people are so used to me being able to do that... it doesn't occur to them that my circumstances have changed.

I am also wondering if I shouldn't have waited and gone under the radar longer on getting all the stuff to be "legit" like insurance and a commercial kitchen rental ($250 to start the insurance and $600 for the kitchen rental). No one ever seems to check any of that stuff. But I worry that the one time they would check it is with me and I would be screwed.

I am worried that Stan and Kevi will insist I start paying rent when the kitchen is built out and before the ADA issues with the front entrance have been resolved. They want me to just go get the little certificate that says "I am working on it" and put it in the window, but that is not a guarantee I won't be sued. And they are targeting the people who make improvements downtown (two business sued in the last two years in 6 square block area). I just can't afford to give away 10k right off the bat. And I don't have time to wait forever to open.

I know I will feel better next week. I hope good things happen.

1 comment:

  1. You are very brave to undertake this adventure. I REALLY hope it works out well for you.

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