Feeling a little down today...

I can really feel the strain the never ending delay is having on mine and Stein's lives today. I know there is not a lot a can do about it, but it sometimes seems so unfair that my landlord's apathy has such great effect on our lives. If either of us had known how little a priority it was for them to fix the issues with the building (or if they had disclosed the issues going in), we could have both gotten jobs, or I could have picked a site that didn't have so many problems.

There is no use in my crying about it now, when we are finally getting close to stuff being done. But I am so tired of the stress and lack of control I have over the situation. I can't ask Stein to work forever like this. I know realistically we are looking at opening next month, but even typing that out loud strikes fear into my heart... like I am jinxing myself by even hoping.

I talked to Dave Scola down at the Buidling Dept today. They are trying to hammer out the aesthetics on the new front (it is a historical building) but they seemed amenable to the contractor doing the floors in the meantime. Jeff Taylor was down there. That guy really doesn't like me. He can barely look at me and then he hurries away as fast as he can. I tried to extend an olive branch by talking him up in front of his boss at Creek Monkey, but clearly that didn't work.

I called Stan to tell him the building dept seemed ok with them getting started on some of the work, but he hasn't been calling me back recently. I would guess it is because he doesn't feel he has answers, but he calls Stein and David back and I can't help but wonder if he has some issues with my being a woman. It is actually pretty rare in my experience so I really hesitate to think that direction. It is such a crutch, "Oh I can't do that because I am a WOMAN... or I can't do stuff because I get treated DIFFERENTLY". I can do anything (well, minus the peeing standing up or flying or that type of thing) and I am more than capable of working with any personality type.

I know I am being whiny... it's so silly, it feels like we are actually getting somewhere recently. Our clients love the Charcuterie, we are doing a brisk business. Only one more hurdle to overcome, getting the ADA work done. The Contractor who is doing it seems like the NICEST guy and he's been so good about calling me back and explaining things to the best of his ability.

I sometimes hesitate to express how stressed and discouraged I get because anyone can read this blog. Clients, my landlord, strangers... the press if they so choose. And I suspect I should always be strong and collected in public. But that is not reality. This is an incredibly stressful and difficult thing I am trying to accomplish and since I am trying to help others who might some day try to do the same thing, I want to be as honest as possible. Like Hansel and Gretel leaving bread crumbs in the forest for others to find their way; if I forget to drop them in the difficult places, what good does it do?

At any rate, I am going to try and get some sausage made next week on my own so Stein can get some family stuff done before the restaurant opens and before his little guy goes back to school. It will be strange to work alone; Stein and I are an amazing team. But it will be meditative for me to just putter around my kitchen making whatever I feel inspired to make and getting things organized so we can really hit the ground running when we find out low much longer for the build out. Pray/hope for me that it won't be much longer!