Life and all it's various nuances...

I am sitting at my desk, a rare free evening. My cat, Lilu, has been going through a phase where she wants to be a mommy (I think) and keeps dragging baby squirrels into the house. One dissapeared under my desk a week ago... suddenly sitting at my desk also involves smelling dead squirrel. It is not as easy as one might think to write about food while smelling dead squirrel. In fact, it is hard to sit here at all.. and yet I persevere...

Anyway, so two weeks has passed since Chef Stein, my beloved ex-sous-chef, left the restaurant. It is strange in many ways (like when I notice how low I am on some food product and realize I am the only one keeping track of such things now, so I better get on it!). But in general it mostly feel just... quiet. I am not sure I realized how stressed he really was about being there, but the air is suddenly deflated... calm and placid. He came by with his lovely bride today and (YIPPEE!!) had fixed my immersion circulator and Alicia made me this really awesome pig chalk board. I am going to use it to post the Charcuterie Specials.

Last Sunday I spent the day at my shop, singing and dancing around the kitchen playing with Creek Monkey's Octoberfest Bratwurst. It is bound and cased and now I get to sous vide cook it (which is always better) this week. I should have done a lot more while I was there, but one of my dearest friends came into town and I drove to Newark to meet her for dinner. There are some people that no matter how long it is between visits, it always feels like home when you are together.

The new employees are working out really well so far. (dear god, it really smells like a dead squirrel) Wendy is adorable and Ramiro is fantastic. I am dating someone young enough that we bumped into my daughter's English teacher at breakfast the other day and she thought he was my son (and then high fived me when I told her we were dating!). It feels so strange to be where I am now, compared to a year ago. A year ago we were getting ready to open the shop, no idea what to expect, making sausage and salumi... the path ahead a dark highway with indiscernible curves and hazards.

Since then so much has happened... the restaurant, my youngest baby, has taken on a personality of it's own,   often nothing like mine. So much of it's personality has Stein's imprint, and the colorful cast of characters that roam in and out of it's doors leave an indelible mark. (The squirrel smell is really gross)

I've met so many people who have taken an interest in our success, deep and important connections... commiserate spirits. It is such a unique experience, such a difficult journey. I still feel like I am free falling... the baby bird jumped from the nest, the wings are stretching, poised for flight. Please let me fly before I hit the ground! But I feel strong, I feel full of magic. I feel like the future is forming, dawn is breaking on the dark highway and I can see glimmers of the road ahead. (and that is all the dead squirrel smell I can take for one night)