ARRGH!!!

I just sometimes feel like they make it so difficult to start a business that it is a miracle anyone does it.

Last night I hopped in the bath with the food safety booklet that Ghislane brought me (she works for the Napa Health Department) and, not that I am surprised TRULY, I need to write a HACCP plan for smoked, cured or pickled items. I will be doing all three! So I have to write (3!!) HACCP plans.

Here is the template I am using, which my beloved sweetly put in excel form: http://www.nyc.gov/html/doh/downloads/pdf/rii/rii-hazards-blank-form.pdf

And I need to renew my ServSafe certification so I called to see if I could do the online test with a proctor (they have someone watch you take it) and it seems I will have to do the written one, which takes longer to get the results of. And I have to repay for it... which is only $75, but still!

AND... AND... and the fire inspector who does Martinez has a full voicemail box and the other number they gave me is going straight to voicemail, meaning everyone is on vacation for Thanksgiving, so I won't be able to get that thing crossed off my to-do list either.

But the positves are...

I got to chat with Stein yesterday and I think we are on the same page about uniforms (baseball jersey types with "Compass Star" on them and funny sayings). We went to this little Italian style deli in Alameda that seemed quite popular. I was pleasantly surprised to see the tables change over several times while we were sittign there, plus a lot of to-go sandwiches etc. I have my projections based on 40 covers in 4 hours and they easily saw more than that in the hour we were there (which was admittably the lunch hour rush). I also need to add a commerical toaster to my list of stuff I need... I am not sure how I missed that in the first place?

I was really encouraged by the experience because I had the hot pastrami sandwich and it was decent but nothing like mine. I am not sure how they can even make pastrami without imparting that peppery smokey flavor... it really isn't pastrami without that. Stein had the meatball sandwich and I noticed others got that as well, making me more determined than ever to serve my meatball sliders.

Today I am trying not to feel discouraged. It just seems like every time I move forward a bit, there are ten more things I need to do that I was blissfully unaware of just the day before. But my determination to do this thing is, if anything, stronger now than ever. Next week are my final Nutrition Class plus Supervisory management. Then I will just need to finish Cross Cultural Healing and I will be done (with the Culinary Arts Certificate and the Baking and Pastry Certificate), then I just need two online classes next semester to get my Associates Degree in Hospitality Management. Whew.

Opening my own restaurant...

And other feats of hubris and ego...

So I am merely seconds away from begining the funding search.

Essentials Checklist:

• Fictitious Business Name
• Home Occupancy Permit
• Business License
• State Tax ID Number
• Federal Tax ID Number
• Resellers Permit (in the mail)

Business Plan Checklist:

• Menu
• Itemized Menu Price Costing
• Vendor List
• SWOT
• Executive Summary
• Mission Statement "House Cured and Hand Crafted"
• Weekly Cash Flow Projections
• Monthly Cash Flow Projections
• Quarterly Cash Flow Projections
• Yearly Cash Flow Projections
• 5 Year Cash Flow Projections
• Funding Disbursment List
• Festival Schedule
• Demographic Information
• Marketing Plan
• Employee Information

Now I am contesting a few small things on my credit report and plan to do a couple of small things to improve my credit score and after that... I have the names of two non-profit lenders who do small business loans I will be contacting, plus Gerad from the local Small Business Administration will be looking my stuff over as well. Today the business plan is with Mr. E from school for input etc.

I want to get together with Stein and brainstorm some details like.... what will we wear? Chefs coats? Rugby Shirts? Dress shirt and black pants with a black apron? How do we want to do service? People sit with menus, or do they come up to the counter and order, then we give them a number and they go sit while we prepare the food? What kind of signage would I do? I kind of want a carved wooden sign that looks like one of the old English tavern signs hanging out above the door. Compass Star with a pig, or with a compass star, or both. I have friends who would probably do it for me, I just need to ask.

It's so... beautiful

So I got the new (to me) buffalo chopper all cleaned up today and took it for it's innaugural spin. I chopped 3 # of back fat and 6# of lean leg meat, plus about 75 g salt, 10 g #2 salt and 40 g of a fennel/peppercorn corsely ground, plus about 4 g fennel pollen, 200 g of moscato wine and about 4 g fresh grated garlic, plus about 6 g of bactoferm. I froze the back fat and did a corse chop in the choper, then I also did the lean meat in the chopper, which I have not done before, but I think it had a nice texture. I hand stuffed it in a beef bung.

I then did a butcher's twine wrap on it and reinforced the hanging strings (since the sausage is about #10) and hung it up in the outside fridge. I am extremely proud of it and I hope it is as delicious as I think it will be!

I went and got a whole new load of meat today to make another batch of salumi. I only used 1/2 of one beef bung for the whole 10# sausage! So now I have to figure out what else I want to make? I really want to make mortadella since I now have the buffalo chopper and I have an event next week with a meat platter, but I also acutely feel that I should be putting in as much salumi to dry cure as I can now in case I do open my own place next year.

I also sarted 3 bellies for bacon, picked up two really cheap partial boneless beef shanks (I did a bresaola type cure on them, we will see how it turns out!) and I already have one 3 # capicola going and about 15 # of lonza in cure as well.

SO much has happened in the past few weeks...

I am working solidly along on my business plan and the more I do, the better I feel. AND in some very exciting developments... I was rummaging around in a used Restaurant supply store and found a buffalo chopper for $400, which Sue and Paul gave me as a gift!

This is so exciting as it's use in making sausage is absolutely priceless. The difference between chopped meat vs ground meat is substantial when it comes to the texture and color of the finished product!

Mary and I picked fresh fennel this weekend and gathered up the pollen so I can make Finocchinoa this weekend. I got my beef bungs in a few days ago and I am so so SO excited to use my new chopper.

I will blog the process this weekend!

Excited and Terrified

So it has been a busy year already; I am finishing school and exploring all of my options. I am scared of the future because I know the mainstream critical path to Chef glory; but I am not in a position to travel down that path. Working for free in some world famous place, then working 2 jobs while I get experience (making $10.00 and hour), then becoming a line cook, then purchasing or sous, then executive chef, where you might make 35k-60k and work 80 hour weeks. You know why a lot of women are not world famous chefs? You can't spend time with your family.

This has me anxious and exploring alternative routes to greatness. It just seems like there is no perfect path. If I wait two years to get more experience, I will be opening up my business with no safety net (I am still receiving child support and alimony currently, but that will be greatly reduced late next year). Ideally I would work in the industry for a couple more years, gather information and experience, then the money fairy would visit me miraculously and the perfect place would appear (cheaply) on the horizon and I would open my dream bar/pub.

So... with all that in mind... I found a small place in Martinez that was a coffee shop/cafe that is for lease inexpensively. The downtown is dead on the weekends and in the evenings, which is why the rent is so cheap.

BUT, the place is a block from the court house and the Thursday farmer's market. AND they have frequent weekend street fairs and festivals and the person who manages the downtown seems very serious about bringing business to the area. The clientele would be pretty blue collar (the Sheriff's office is two blocks away, plus jurors etc). I have a fellow student who works at the refinery who would be willing to promote the cafe to people who worked there.

Downside, it would have to be a cold kitchen. There is no hood/range/oven and to bring them in would be outside of my budget currently. But I would sous vide cook, plus most of my items would be dry cured etc, which doesn't use heat anyway. I would need to find out if I can use an electric smoker in the back alleyway.

The quiet nature of the weekend business would not be all bad for me too. I can use the kitchen to prep food for my catering events, plus as many of the items would be very labor intensive, I could prep on the weekends as well. Salumi and home made Mayonnaise etc.

I would also have to figure out the coffee thing. The morning coffee business would be really important. Brion will be talking with Weaver's coffee to secure the best coffee (IMO) money can buy and my friend April, who is a shift leader for Starbucks will help me set up and train to do this. I think quick serve will be really important for this place.

I also will have to put in a bunch of meat soon if I want to open the place in like 01/11. It is all so nebulous... but the numbers don't look too bad so far. I think I would need to really get some good word of mouth to get people out of their office buildings and into my shop. Free samples would likely be a good idea... I think my product is really good and will sell itself.

Where is the line between interest, passion...

and obsession?

My outside fridge is filling beautifully with meat.... meat... glorious meat.

I was getting low on product so I started 5 pork bellies for pancetta, they are almost dry. I have 15 lbs of salumi curing using the spice mixture from Scappi's "Mortadella"... so Italian... fennel, cinnamon, peppercorn, and nutmeg. Fresh herbs: mint, majoram and thyme. I also have about 20 lbs of modern Nduja cased and ready to cold smoke, drying in the outside fridge. I did not use so much hot spice and peppers, and I added blood and mace. I love the sweet earthiness the blood adds to sausage and I find myself craving it in the smokiness of Nduja. I also did this amazing Scappi recipe of raw chicken breast, parboiled pork belly, saffron, Parmesan, currants and Italian sweet spices. The last sausage was the Saveloy, veal, pork and liver, truffles, raisins, eggs, fresh cheese and Parmesan. I hot smoked them over cherry wood.

I also brined brisket for MY pastrami. It is drying in now and developing it's lovely pellicle. I am sad that most Americans will never try fresh home made pastrami. The sad pale overpeppered and dry piece of shit we are served on deli sandwiches is nothing like the honey and garlic and pepper and coriander wet cured meat that is air dried and then hot smoked for 8 hours to a deep red, like the inside of a beating heart, and then let to sit for three days, then steamed until it falls apart, it's fatty bits like slippery pieces of hot smoke and spice.

I have two small Capicolla started, plus a Lonza in dry cure now. They sit in their little half hotel pans with their bellies peeking up like little fat Feziwigs sleeping off a Christmas party hang over. I am almost done processing the salumi that needs to get to curing and drying. A massive amount of it has been done this past week, thanks to the help of my beloved meat loving friends.

I also picked up duck gizzards with Ariane and smoked them in cherry wood, and then confited them in goose fat. They are deep red from the smoke and I put star anise, peppercorn and garlic in the goose fat.

I feel like... a Pioneer mother ready for winter. Larder fat with pickles and preserves... the smell of meat and peppercorn and bay in my meat cooler. 75 lbs and counting of meat. Soon... the fish.

My Internship...

Last Tuesday I stared my internship at Perbacco. It is a anagogical space, which reminds me a little bit of what the Rabbit Hole must have been like. A long, tall narrow space with an open exhibition kitchen and off to the right a door opens to the back hallways and stairs that lead down to the salumeria and prep space. Winding concrete spaces lead to offices, storage, bathrooms, lockers... and other businesses. The shiny newness of Perbacco's lovely muted space giving way to the hodge podge of of a layered city built during Victorian times.

We go up and down the stairs many times a day... winding our way through the Rabbit Hole. Out the employee entrance is a McDonalds that reminds me, in a direct and stark way, that McDonalds are owned by individuals, Franchisees. This one looks like it's been owned for at least 60 years, by the same guy... who has not updated in anyway the decor. The harsh light and mumbling bag people mix innocuously with the business people on lunch break. I can see the prep chefs and The Boys smoking just outside Perbacco's employee entrance. They look at me dumbfounded when I come out of McDonalds... why didn't I just ask them to make me something!? WHO in the name of Lilith and Thor would eat at Mickey D's when they can eat at Perbacco? They are totally right. I really like The Boys.

My first day I worry I will be the only girl. I see so few of them in chef's scrubs. But I am relieved to find the Chef de Cuisine for the soon to be opened Barbacco is the tall and lovely Sarah and her tiny (but mighty) Sous Chef... Kathryn. Sarah has been the Salumi-Queen of Perbacco and we spend three glorious days down in the salumeria making all manner of things... duck mortadella with spanish olives, pork salumi with red wine and peppers... old time Italian ones with Spices that would have been found in Scappi... mace, cloves, nutmeg...

The Boys, Carl and Jaime, are the Sous Chefs for Perbacco. Young and much pierced, wise and gentle. I love the smart energy of the space. Even the youngest prep chef, speaking only a handful of English, grins incredulously at me while I tie up Cow Middles (yes, the large part of a Cow's intestines). I can tell he wishes he could say, "DO YOU KNOW WHAT THOSE ARE!?" and I only wish I could tell him, "Yes, I do! And This is what I do for FUN on my days OFF!" I am secretly glad I get to do this work, since he probably get stuck doing most of the time and obviously thinks it is freakishly special... and not in a good way.

My first week went well, but I can't help but wonder what do they see when they see me? The chefs d partie are almost all hispanic, but the executives are 4/5 Caucasian, with the Chef d Cuisine of Perbacco, Benjamin, being the only one who is not. The dynamic is not the rarefied Caucasial Fields of my Jr. College. No one my age is still a prep chef. In fact... no one my age is a Sous Chef. So there I am, blond, a woman and really really old. I sometimes feel like an alien in a strange world. I have my first serious self doubts about what I am doing. I feel like I should probably pare down to living in my car before I actually endeavor to live on what a Chef makes. It doesn't bother me that I am not going to strike it rich being a chef... it bothers me that trying to live on $10 an hour in the Bay Area means I will be homeless. Thank goodness work for Brion is going well!

So I will have to write up my goals for my internship after the semester starts. Three of them. I think these will be "the goals"

1. Learn how to make amazing Salumi
2. Learn some kitchen Spanish
3. Cook something

I know #3 seems weird, but the salumeria downstairs does not even have a range/oven/stove in the whole room. If I stay down there and don't come out, I won't do anything but prep. If I want to open my own restaurant, where I might be able to avoid being homeless, I need to learn so much more. And at (almost) 40, I feel like time is of the greatest importance.

Tomorrow is day #4 of my internship. I have also decided to do a personal project. The Ferry building is a couple of blocks from Perbacco and I have decided during my internship to eat at every eatery there and blog and photograph them all. I love to write. And I love to eat! I will do my first installation of the Ferry Building Eating Project This week :)